Growing up in the 1970s, it was hard to find a Walmart in many places in the U.S., including Virginia where I was busy vandalizing my neighbors’ Redskins-painted passenger vans.

KMart, however, was ubiquitous. The problem being it had a less-than-glorious brand image. Giant strip-mall-based retail stores with dingy interiors that sold a lot of generic brand garbage at a time when generics had a bad name. KMart had the infamous and oft-ridiculed “Blue Light Specials,” and to a degree, it was unfairly mocked by the arrogance of the middle and upper classes.

Then Walmart showed up, changing the image of retailers that catered to the working class with better service, a cleaner in-store experience, creepy smiley faces stressing low prices, and somewhat better quality merchandise at a time when the perception of generic products had improved. It became everything to everyone, putting a variety of mom-and-pop stores out of business by selling an immensely broad range of everyday items:  laundry detergent, power drills, high definition TVs, feminine hygiene products, diamond rings, and oil changes. Brands understood this and began coming to Walmart, searching for partnerships, and music acts old and new — the immense AC/DC being just one — use the retail chain as a launch strategy for new albums.

What has KMart done to respond? Sears bought it, the stores have been modernized and they’ve tried rebranding (The Big K), but it has largely failed to keep up as it tries to hold some semblance of market share by working to be as much like Walmart as it can.

MySpace, to me, is the KMart of social media. It was the front-runner, and like KMart’s dingy stores in the ’70s and ’80s, its design has always been a total train wreck. Think Gary Coleman’s post-Different Strokes career train wreck.  MySpace was purchased by a company in a similar industry (media conglomerate NewsCorp.), has struggled along looking for relevance for a few years now, and demographics have gone from once broad-ranging, to now largely rural Americans and music fans.

Facebook, like Walmart, started from behind. Then, much like Mr. T’s steely gaze, Facebook systematically destroyed everything in its way — including MySpace — with a cleaner design and strategically partnering with application designers to provide features for just about everything. From polls to pictures to sending bacon to targeted adds with ridiculously large-chested women who supposedly went to your high school and are now searching for you on Google. Facebook has become top-of-mind for nearly all social media users and grandmothers alike, every company has a “Facebook strategy,” some companies have even left their corporate websites behind in lieu of Facebook Fan Pages, and the social network’s fastest growing demographic are women 55 and above.

Much like Warren Buffet’s $50 billion donation to the Gates Foundation did to the newsworthiness of other acts of philanthropy, Facebook has made every other social network irrelevant. It is the Walmart of social media, and has become everything to everyone.

And while KMart has tried to be as much like Walmart as it possibly can, give MySpace credit for going in a different direction as it strives to regain its once-lofty position.

Saying they’ll roll out a redesign that will thankfully limit the current clutter, new MySpace co-presidents Jason Hirschhorn and Mike Jones are refocusing the site on a core demographic of ages 13-34 — far younger than Facebook’s largest age range block of 35-54. And MySpace’s new approach will focus on fostering interaction principally around entertainment, films and games — whereas Facebook is busy trying to convince people it is not a social network at all, as founder Mark Zuckerberg told Ken Auletta for his book “Googled.”

So while the reality is we don’t know if MySpace’s actions are too little too late, I was wondering whether KMart could learn something from MySpace. I think so, so here’s a couple of my worthless notions:

• Stop competing with Walmart. Like Chuck Norris’ beard or Dick Cheney on a hunting trip, it will kill everything in its way. Pick your niche and don’t try to be everything to everyone.
• Make things easy for your customers to spend money, as Target is by using mobile couponing. Have you ever come back from Disney World with a dime in your pocket? Of course not.
• Give a girl a ring. Engage your core customers — moms — with brand ambassador programs. Have non-KMarters pimping on your behalf.
• Show your customers you love them in every way you can. Give them free stuff, midnight specials, dance lessons, wine tastings, midget wrestling, whatever.
• Have some fun with your brand. Go old school with the Blue Light Specials. Never forget that consumers love companies that don’t take themselves too seriously. After all, I just told you so, and that’s all the proof you should need.

You’re welcome.