Art imitates life, as Elasticity client Lanworth, which provides satellite-based independent crop production intelligence to the finance, consumer food product, and agri-business industries — often driving commodities markets — was recently featured on CNBC.

From the standpoint of a consumer, I think it’s rather vapid and silly. Note to people I follow on Twitter in less than 140 characters — I don’t care what you think about the sunset.

From the perspective of a business communicator, however, I’ve found it to be an often effective tool for things like customer service, thought leadership, idea sharing and finding chicken suits. But I often question those who follow thousands upon thousands of accounts. Seriously, how many people can you pay attention to and still have a life?

That’s probably why I found this video from IndyMogul parodying Twitter, as well as the new Facebook movie, to be infinitely funny as well as accurate in its not-so-subtle jabs at how Twitter is shaping human behavior and turning us all into a bunch of Kathy Lee Giffords.

Three thumbs up!

The evening was kindly sponsored by Corazon Tequila — and the Palomas were flowing — as well as Barefoot Wines, and Samuel Adams.

Sure paints an interesting picture.

But I do meet colleagues every once in a while, either virtually or in person. I was recently connected with Tim Moore, a bright guy who works for the New York Times Company in the lovely city of Wilmington, NC. And on his Facebook page he posted an interested video of a guy named John Heaney with Orange Envelope, who apparently really likes to wear ties.

John’s bio says he, “specializes in working with small and medium sized businesses who have the resolve and capacity to commit, act and react quickly and decisively.”  I have no idea what that means, but in the video he analyzes the issue of ROI, something every marketer struggles with, and raises some interesting points — many of which my man Jason Falls has beaten the drum on for awhile now.

Either way, it’s a relatively provocative assault on the social media mainstream — comprised largely of PR and advertising people who have hung a new sign out their door — which for the most part has not done a good job of developing practical, understandable models of demonstrating tangible returns for companies.

Indeed, that is why we hired noted social media panda bear Peter Panda – who invented the phrase “social media” in 2004 — as Elasticity’s director of social media strategy and wildlife relations.

Today, we upped the ante, bringing in leading social media chicken Christopher P. “Crispy” Chicken. While it was a productive meeting, and Crispy’s credentials are immensely impressive with work examples like this, we certainly could have done without him bringing, and drinking from, the bottle of Corazon Tequila.

Must See baby!

But seriously, there was one item discussed at the meeting, held in Boston May 27-30, that was of interest to me. It was a University of Michigan study that shows today’s college students are not as empathetic as college students of the 1980s and ’90s. The study analyzed data on empathy among almost 14,000 college students over the last 30 years.

It wasn’t as much that a lack of empathy caught my eye — I mean, who the hell cares (get it?)? More so, it was the factors behind the apparent reduction in empathy found in the study. They included increased selfishness amongst “Generation Me,” increased exposure to violent media content which creates a numbing effect, and the use of social media tools.

“The ease of having ‘friends’ online might make people more likely to just tune out when they don’t feel like responding to others’ problems, a behavior that could carry over offline,” Science Daily quoted U-M graduate student Edward O’Brien, who along with U-M researcher Sara Konrath and undergraduate student Courtney Hsing conducted the meta-analysis, combining the results of 72 different studies of American college students conducted between 1979 and 2009.

The study found college students today are less likely to agree with statements such as, “I sometimes try to understand my friends better by imagining how things look from their perspective,” and, “I often have tender, concerned feelings for people less fortunate than me.”

“College kids today are about 40 percent lower in empathy than their counterparts of 20 or 30 years ago, as measured by standard tests of this personality trait,” Konrath also told Science Daily.

So with the study in mind, I considered some typical social media usage trends — and not just college students but the broader spectrum of upright mammals.

Assuming that conversation as a medium creates a more likely platform for empathetic reaction, increased use of social media tools has unquestionably led to less conversation. And many of us tend to now use tools like instant message instead of face-to-face discussion, email rather than call, 140 characters on Twitter — all the while, our communication styles go from long-form to shorter and shorter.

Maybe you buy it, maybe you don’t. Maybe you aren’t empathizing with my point and don’t care (there I go again). But if you’re an active social media user, it should at least should give use pause the next time someone calls your cell phone and you consider forgoing picking it up in favor of sending a response via text.

Oh, the hell with it. I don’t really care.

Click here to test your level of empathy and compare how you scored to the average empathy level of college students.

Some are impressive, some amuse, and others touch us in unique ways.

Such was the case when we received an e-mail from Anthony Majewski, an apparent die-hard Green Bay Packers fan who will soon graduate from Florida State University in the great city of Tallahasee. Not only did Anthony, a Mustached American, send us his resume with a very nice e-mail, but he also included some pictures to demonstrate his Photoshop “skilz” as he put it.

With his permission, here’s what Anthony had to say:

Hello, my name is Anthony Majewski, a 23 year old on the verge of graduating from Florida State University with a Political Science major and a History minor. I’ve been following GoElastic for roughly a year now after stumbling across the American Mustache Institute and Dr. Aaron Perlut. Prior to my Political Science concentration I was a marketing major, but after hating finance, accounting, and economics I decided it was best to find something that suited me better.

I’m very experienced in social networking, the internet, gaming, sports, movies; basically everything you’d expect from my generation, but on steroids (not literally). I consider myself a great people person, have experience in public speaking, and I’m quite mustached. Your company seems like an outstanding place to work, in a great city, with great people, and I think I could be a great asset.

I really feel that this I should make an effort to get my resume to you in an effort to open up my employment opportunities with my graduation closely approaching. I’m open to anything as far as an internship and paying my way for an interview, I have never really found something career wise that seemed exciting to me until I read up on GoElastic.

That’s what is important, finding something you can wake up and enjoy doing, while doing it well.

Indeed, Anthony, it is. Thank you so much, and it should go without saying that you had me at hello……and mustache.

Carry on.

My wife and I have had the good fortune of moving around quite a bit during our 17-year relationship. I say good fortune because it’s enabled me to meet a lot of wonderful people, experience different cultures, eat different food, drink many local beers, and poop in public restrooms of varying cleanliness.

Much of our time has been spent along the U.S. Gulf Coast. We lived in New Orleans and along the Mississippi coast from 1995-99, and in St. Petersburg, Fla., from 2002-05. And while living there, we lounged on beaches from St. Pete to Gulf Shores and Orange Beach in Ala.; visited the famed FloraBama bar on the beachfront border of Fla. and Ala.; I played in basketball tournaments in Birmingham; went to barrier islands off the coast of Mississippi; and fished off Destin, Fla.

Indeed, while I now live in the absolute center of the country, some 12 hours from the closest beach, the Gulf Coast is very much a part of who I’ve become, and who I will always be.

That’s why I find it so frustrating to see day-after-day media coverage of oil spewing into the ocean that I have so enjoyed and connected with during these past 17 years. And while I am not a sentimental mammal — and often rather callus — the current state of my Gulf Coast just breaks my heart.

When the explosion and subsequent oil leak first occurred, I immediately understood the magnitude, even if the flow of oil had been stemmed that day or week. But I don’t think that most people living away from the Gulf Coast can truly comprehend the damage that continues to be done. We’ve heard estimates that oil will continue to spew into the Gulf until at least September. Thousands upon thousands of gallons daily for five months killing wildlife, ruining marine habitat, destroying tourism, wrecking property values, and crippling the fishing industry for decades to come.

A friend from my New Orleans days — we’ll call him Fletch F. Fletch — told me, “for us down here who lived through Katrina there is the same slowly building anxiety over this that is beginning to permeate our daily lives.  It may sound silly but it really is becoming a challenge to stay focused on our jobs and our futures when we know the New Orleans / Gulf Coast area will likely never be the same again.  It is much the same upset stomach we all had in late 2005 when faced with the dilemma of moving back to a questionable New Orleans or relocating to more secure areas.  The magnitude of this, in the end, will be far more devastating than Katrina.  Katrina was a broken arm and leg.  The spill is a cancer death sentence.”

I think what bothers me so much is that it appears little is being done, Kevin Costner “Waterworld” remake be damned. It’s like a shaving cut that won’t stop bleeding. The oil just keeps on flowing into some of the most beautiful waters I’ve ever seen.

I’d like to blame someone. It’s easiest to point a finger at BP, of course. But I’m not certain what that would get me. We hear varying sides of the story from environmentalists, BP, Gary Coleman’s widow, and local, state and federal government officials — and we must assume the truth lies somewhere in between what they are all saying.

All I know is that I’m frustrated, and I’d like someone to act, so that before I die in 40 or 50 years, I can go back to my Gulf and see it as it remains in my memories.

Carry on.

And as the news release dies, our friend Jason Kintzler and his PitchEngine have made a nice play to assume the mantle in the space by providing a platform for the social media release — a more effective means of communicating messages that reaches a broader audience.

Here is a video we worked on with PitchEngine, produced and directed by our own Kenneth Bartholomew Pituitary Hieronymus VII, to bid a fond farewell to the traditional news release.

“In year one we laid the foundation, and thus far year two has seen much of that groundwork come to fruition,” said Dan Callahan, managing partner of Elasticity. “I haven’t showered much and Aaron’s been drinking a lot, but that doesn’t really differentiate the last quarter.”

A-B Inbev’s Bud Light hired Elasticity to provide strategic counsel and insight into the brand’s performance in social media and search marketing as well as to benchmark against other CPG brands performance in the space. And Sony Online Entertainment (SOE) has engaged Elasticity to develop and execute digital strategies, public relations and social media programs related to the online gaming and entertainment portal’s hotly anticipated new launches, including Star Wars Clone Wars Adventures and DC Universe Online.

“Elasticity brings a refreshing approach, and in our industry, we need to think creatively,” Scott Gulbransen, the somewhat oddly misshapen Sr. Director of Global P.R. & Corporate Communications for SOE, said while eating a four-day-old egg salad sandwich. “Their team has the right approach: mix high-level business strategy with engaging tactics that move the needle for your business. We’re working with them because we have the confidence they’re going to help us do just that.”

A-B InBev’s Shock Top brand brought on Elasticity to develop a new creative marketing, public relations and social media strategy for a calendar year 2011 roll-out as well.

“We thought Elasticity’s ‘Triangulation’ model of targeting social media, blogs and traditional media would be a good fit for our efforts to develop a creative strategy for Shock Top for 2011,” said Nate Scudieri, the craft beer portfolio brand manager for Anheuser-Busch’s Michelob Brewing Company.

Additionally, Elasticity will be putting together strategies in hopes of helping the nation’s largest provider of cable television services, Comcast Communications, with its use of social media and digital marketing programs to better educate and engage audiences with their new products and technology; Toro has hired the agency to help develop a social media framework for the company; and  Travel Leaders, formerly Carlson Wagonlit Travel, will also work with Elasticity to create integrated online and offline interactive experiences in major metropolitan areas.

The most controversial of Elasticity’s new clients may be the United Karate Kid Haircut Association (UKKHA), which is working with Elasticity to develop a world domination play, to research the complete works of Pat Morita, and to push for sanctions against Libya and other rogue nations for disallowing the viewing of 1994’s highly under-appreciated “The Next Karate Kid” starring Hilary Swank.

“The UKKHA’s a slippery slope,” said a reticent Brian Cross, managing partner. “World domination is one thing, and we’ve negotiated various treaties with Libya. But Hilary Swank’s performance in the fourth Karate Kid left something to be desired.”

Founded January 1, 2009, and based in the home of the world’s largest mustache – St. Louis and its Gateway Arch – Elasticity provides communications strategies and digital word of mouth programs that straddle the realms of new and traditional media, often using humor-based themes, working with companies that include Charter Communications, Monsanto, Capital One, Stifel Nicolaus, and the American Mustache Institute.